Song To Say Goodbye
by Dornroschen
Summary: Song fic inspired by Placebo. QuistisSeifer


**Song To Say Goodbye**

Just hit me one evening. Song is "Song To Say Goodbye" by Placebo. It isn't Shakespeare, and it doesn't make much sense...but I thought I'd post it anyway. Let me know if you like it.

* * *

"_You are one of God's mistakes.  
You crying, tragic waste of skin_"

Quistis sighed, the events of the previous afternoon had hit her much more than she would have liked, more than she would ever let on to anybody. Let alone him. He had posessed so much potential, could have been one of the best.

And he threw it all away. And dragged her down with him, into the deep pit of self-pity, self-loathing and failure.

"_I'm well aware of how it aches,  
And you still won't let me in_"

She'd tried to do her best, tried so hard to get him to engage, to make an effort, to give him the right kind of attention. Not the kind that made him an even worse version of himself. All he'd ever done was knock her to the ground, smear the failure in her face, then take a photograph. Even now, he wouldn't let her help, and a part of her...a very large part, hated him for it.

She walked down and knocked on the door, maybe she could make him see sense if she nagged long enough. It used to work some of the time back when they were kids.

No answer. She knocked harder and sighed with frustration, he needed somebody. Anybody, even if all he'd do was yell to fuck off and all she'd do was tell him how she wasn't going to disappear and neither was all the things making him want to. A dumb thought passed through her brain, setting off alarm bells and she scoffed at her paranoia, there was no way he'd do anything that stupid.

She called his name, hit the door. No answer, now that thought didn't seem quite so dumb and she cursed the administration for taking away her lisence and consequentially, her master key card. She shouted to him again and listened closely...it sounded like someone was throwing up.

"_Now I'm breaking down your door,  
to try and save your swollen face.  
Though I don't like you anymore  
you lying, trying waste of space_"

She shouted that she was going to break down the door if he didn't damn well answer. No response so she did as she had threatened. It wasn't because she liked him...of course not, certainly not because she loved him...was it? No, it was because she wasn't going to let him fail again. Not the time to be thinking why, just that...she cared, who cares why?

The door gave way with just a bit of damage...mainly to her shoulder. But that was irelevant, the vomiting noise continued, and she was horified by the empty bottles from vodka and pills. She would have thought he abhored taking 'the quitters way out'.

"_Before our innocence was lost  
you were always one of those blessed with lucky 7s,  
and the voice that made me cry.  
My oh my_"

She remembered back in the orphanage, days when they'd play in the sea and they'd get on because she was bossy and he was a bully, and she tried to boss him around and he'd try to bully her, but they worked much better against the other kids, becayse they were younger and therefore babies. But sometimes he'd make her cry, by playing too rough or saying stuff about her parents. And sometimes she made him cry, but he'd never told her that, he always said it was allergies and threatened pain to anyone who questioned that. Big boys don't cry...that's what his parents told him.

"_You were mother nature's son,  
Someone to whom I could relate_"

She had often wondered after the particularly rough days why he was how he was. Squall hadn't turned out like that, and they were fairly similar...but then Squall had Ellone always...and Seifer didn't have anyone. Quistis had only worked this out after time compression, a little too late. Some days she wondered if she could have ever ended up like Seifer. Doubtful. But more often she could see why he was himself.

"_You're needle and your damage done,  
remains a sordid twist of fate_"

She stepped over the bottles on the dirty carpet and into the bathroom. There was, hunched over the toilet with his coat flung to the side, his gunblade poking out from underneath. Some things you can't use a sword against, and overdose seemed to be one of those.

"Now I'm trying to wake you up,  
To pull you from the liquid sky"

She said his name and he turned with eyes crazy and face pale and sweaty. He said her name and told her to leave him be. She hit him for that, and grabbed a phone, someone had to help. He threw up again and she found herself holding him, trying to stop him from going anywhere. He told her to leave again, and she told him that was impossible.

"_Cause if I don't we'll both end up  
With just your song to say goodbye  
My oh my_"

It couldn't go this way, it wasn't him! He wasn't a quitter, he'd go out there guns blazing and take them all on, ignore the weak ones and push them aside. He couldn't just give up...not after everything.

"_Our song to say goodbye  
Song to say goodbye  
Our song to say-_"

She told him she loved him, and he believed her.

"_Before our innocence was lost,  
You were always one of those,  
Blessed with lucky sevens, And the voice that made me cry_"

The one failure, the only one that mattered now

"_It's a song to say goodbye_"

Not goodbye, it wasn't going to end.

Not like this, it wasn't him. She wouldn't let him. He told her it had been a mistake, and she understood, life can hurt pretty bad at times. His life could hurt pretty bad tenfold.

Not a goodbye. He wasn't going anywhere. She wouldn't let him fail this time.

"_It's a song to say goodbye_"


End file.
